About doctors and patients | If changing a doctor is not possible | Summary
The diagnosis of diabetes continues to live in the minds like a stigma. Unfortunately, this is quite common even among medical personnel. Add a sense of fear of poor diabetic control or the appearance of complications, and a visit to the clinic becomes a nightmare. Is it possible to get rid of this side of life with diabetes, and what if the next doctor tries to scare you?
One of the challenges for people with diabetes is meeting with regular doctors. Fear and effect are words that come to mind. A person mentally preparing to receive a doctor may ask himself: “Will they find a terrible complication?”, “What if I have poor diabetic control?”, And even: “Maybe it’s better not to go?” Such preparation is often an exercise full of fear and anxiety.
Not all people among the medical staff are sensitive. There are also those who can, without hesitation, declare that a patient with diabetes will have no children or, in all seriousness, say, “How did you even come (or are still alive …) with such indicators?” Sometimes such things are done from ignorance, in other situations — to scare and make you work harder. Sometimes this tactic really works, but not always well. The imprint of psychological terror may not leave for many years, but if you find the right doctor, everything will change.
About callous and sensitive doctors and “bad” patients
- Step 1: what kind of patient am I
If you do not do something, you yourself know about it. No, there really are distortions when we sincerely believe in our righteousness by eating the sixth cake. This, by the way, is called the Dunning-Krueger effect. It’s best to admit to yourself where it’s incomplete and where there were flaws due to circumstances. And then once again we sift the blame “according to circumstances”, determine where we behaved shortsightedly.
- Step 2: what kind of doctor did I get?
Some doctors approach the question from this angle: you should have certain results, if you do not have them, then you are simply a bad patient, and the ins and outs are not important. If you got such a doctor and you suffer every time you need to go to an appointment, try changing him and find someone who will advise you kindly.
So that you understand what is at stake. Three years ago, I attended a regular conference for endocrinologists, where I met one outstanding doctor. I was struck by the simplicity and intelligibility of her speech. The red thread of the lecture was the issue of sensitivity towards patients. She simply asked everyone to stand up and then sit down if his / her behavior did not meet at least one of the listed criteria. She mentioned the following factors (although since then the accuracy of the memory leaves much to be desired):
- who does not smoke, does not drink alcohol;
- who does not eat fatty, fried, sweet foods (or does it extremely rarely);
- who regularly goes in for exercise at the recommended level?
On the whole, only two people remained from a small hall for 20 people, the doctor herself sat down.
The bottom line is: you need to be a demanding doctor and guide the patient, but not demand the impossible, especially if you cannot do it yourself.
I was lucky to see many of these doctors, with a discount on the simplicity / complexity of the presentation. Unfortunately, I can’t say how many such sensitive specialists work in small and remote areas.
What to do if changing a doctor is not possible
Sometimes we cannot avoid contact with “unpleasant” medical personnel (this is not just about doctors). In such cases, you should forget about timidity and respond in a suitable form for the situation. No rudeness or abruptness. No. Simply, if someone starts to tell you things in a rude way and how you will have terrible complications and everything is gone, ask in a calm tone whether this person knows what experience you have, what needs to be done to correct the situation, and how effectively you all these scarecrows will help. Remember that a calm but persistent response is a very effective tool. Unfortunately, using intimidation tactics to influence and humiliate patients until they collapse has not gone out of fashion.
In some cases, it also makes sense to get an alternative opinion. Even if for this you need to go to another city. Health is clearly more valuable than time and money spent on travel. In addition, you will not just hear the opinion of another doctor but get rid of a feeling of defeat and fear.
Sometimes a detected problem may not be so complex or even non-existent. And even if there is a problem, you can do something to improve the situation.
A small summary
Unfortunately, it is easy to assume that part of the stigma of diabetes grew out of the medical community, from decades of disappointment by doctors who did not reflect their clinical prowess and, ultimately, success. After all, medical practice requires a large amount of knowledge, experience, discipline, strength and compassion. Yet it is a choice.
Living with severe chronic illnesses and treating them is also hard work, which requires invaluable internal strength, but diabetes is not a choice.
First of all, you always need to remain a person, both in relation to the patient, and in relation to the doctor.
The search for “your own” doctor is best understood as part of curbing diabetes. Your hard work, as well as psychological support and competent medical advice will help you achieve your goals. There is no reason to feel fear or humiliation at the office of a medical professional. Protecting yourself, talking when something seems wrong, asking questions and striving for the best service — all this leads to empowerment, self-confidence and, most importantly, to a healthier and happier life.